There’s More Than One Way to Give Birth: What No One Tells You About Your Options

If you’re pregnant and thinking about what kind of birth you want, this post is for you!

Most people are only ever exposed to the OB/hospital route. That’s what we’re taught is “normal” or “safe,” and it’s easy to assume that’s just how birth works. But here’s the thing... there’s more than one way to do this. And the model of care you choose can shape your entire experience, start to finish!

As a doula who’s supported both home and hospital births (and as someone who had an OB for my own first birth), I’ve seen the difference. It’s not just about the setting. It’s about the energy, the philosophy, the way you’re cared for, and how much say you actually have.

So let’s talk about it!

1. The philosophy behind the care

The medical model sees birth as something that might go wrong. So it’s all about monitoring, managing, and being prepared for complications. OBs are trained for emergencies, which is absolutely important in some cases. But in this model, interventions are often used preventatively or routinely, and decision-making tends to rest more with the provider than the birthing person.

The midwifery model starts from a completely different belief: that birth is normal. It’s not something to control, but something to support. Midwives are trained to recognize when something’s off and step in when needed, but their approach is based on trust. Trust in your body, your baby, and the process of birth itself. 90% of women are considered normal pregnancies and are good candidates for an out of hospital birth with a midwife!

2. The birth environment

Environment matters. It shapes how safe you feel, how your hormones flow, and how your labor unfolds.

Hospitals tend to be bright (like can we just turn off the dang lights?), noisy, and full of people coming in and out. Even when you try to make the space your own with lights or music or affirmations (which does help), it’s still a clinical space. There are machines, there’s beeping, and there’s a general sense of urgency.

In home birth or birth center settings, the energy is totally different. It’s calm, quiet, and intentionally designed to support birth. Lights are low, voices are soft, you’re in your own bed or in a space that feels warm and familiar. That matters! You feel safer, more grounded, and more in tune with your body.

3. Timelines and how long you’re “allowed” to labor

In hospitals, there’s usually a timeline. If you’re not dilating “fast enough,” or if pushing is taking too long, you’re probably going to hear about Pitocin, breaking your water, or even a cesarean. It’s not always because something’s wrong, sometimes it’s just about keeping things moving according to policy.

Midwives, on the other hand, understand that birth isn’t linear. As long as you and baby are doing well, they’re not rushing you. Progress doesn’t need to happen on a schedule. You get to labor in your own rhythm, and your provider is right there supporting you without pushing a stopwatch.

4. Your relationship with your provider

This one is huge.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had an OB. She was nice, but I didn’t see her at every visit, and when I did, appointments were five minutes tops. We did a basic check in, we listened to baby’s heartbeat, and then I was asked if I had questions. That was it.

When I started midwifery school and got to sit in on midwife prenatals, I was honestly blown away! Each appointment was an hour. There was time to talk about everything, nutrition, exercise, mental health, fears, birth plans, family dynamics. Midwives really get to know their clients. And when labor starts? You’re not calling a stranger. You’re calling someone who’s walked with you your whole pregnancy and already knows what matters to you. I’ve seen moms visibly relax the moment their midwife shows up. That connection is real, and it makes a difference!

5. Continuity of care during labor

In hospitals, OBs usually come in right at the end to catch the baby. The rest of the time, you’re mostly with nurses, and they change with shifts. So depending on how long you labor, you might see several people come and go as well as other hospital staff just popping into say hi (why?? lol).

Midwives are there the whole time. From active labor through postpartum, they’re by your side. They’re not hovering, but they’re present, quietly observing, offering support, helping with comfort measures, and just being a grounding presence. That kind of steady care makes a huge difference in how safe and supported you feel.

6. Postpartum care for (immediate and longer term)

Right after birth, your body is still doing so much! Delivering the placenta, starting to contract the uterus down, initiating breastfeeding, and processing what just happened.

In the medical model, that time is usually filled with tasks. Nurses need to chart, check vitals, clean the room, and prep for the next patient. There’s a rhythm to it, and it goes by quick! You might not even get to stay in the same room. Unfortunately, t’s easy for that golden hour to get interrupted.

In the midwifery model, that time is protected. Baby stays on your chest. The lights stay low (I’ve held phone flash lights for midwives to check for tears). You’re brought tea or food. Midwives help with latching, check on bleeding gently, and just let you be. They don’t rush you to stand up or shower or clean up right away. You get to stay in the moment until you’re ready.

And it doesn’t stop there!

Many out of hospital midwives come to your house after birth. I’ve seen midwives do home visits on day 1, 3, 7, and then again around 2 and 6 weeks. (Sometimes those last two are in-office.) They’re available for calls or texts, and they’re checking in on everything— your bleeding, your mood, how you’re coping, how feeding is going. And they care for you and baby! Midwives are not only your care provider, but also your baby’s for the first 6 weeks of their lives! This means you don’t have to be leaving your house and taking your newborn to a pediatrician while you’re still getting the hang of everything? Uh yes please!

In contrast? Most people with OB care get one 6 week postpartum visit. Five minutes, maybe ten. You’re asked if you’re using birth control, cleared for sex and exercise, and that’s usually it.

Postpartum deserves more. And midwifery care gives more.

7. How babies are treated

This one fires me up.

In hospitals, I’ve seen babies get rubbed down aggressively, suctioned, handed off, hats thrown on, cord clamped immediately, all within seconds of being born. And many times? The baby is fine and all of that is soo unnecessary. Babies being born is treated like an emergency. Also fun fact: babies don’t need hats right away, or ever when they are doing skin to skin! Putting a hat on your newborn right away interferes with the bonding hormones and is uneccessary since your body temperature regulates to what baby needs!

In the midwifery model, babies are met with quiet and patience. I’ve seen moms catch their own babies. Dads too. And sometimes? The midwife doesn’t even touch the baby. If they’re doing well, they go straight to mom and stay there. No rubbing, no suctioning unless it’s truly needed, no separation. Just skin-to-skin and peace.

Babies don’t need chaos. And how they enter the world matters!!

Fun fact: babies don’t need hats right away, or ever when they are doing skin to skin! Putting a hat on your newborn right away interferes with the bonding hormones and is uneccessary since your body temperature regulates to what baby needs!

Final Thoughts

The kind of care you receive during pregnancy and birth shapes everything! Not just how your baby is born, but how you feel in the process. Supported? Empowered? Heard?

This isn’t about fear. And it’s definitely not about judgment. It’s just about awareness. Because if you’ve only ever known one way to give birth, how can you make an informed choice?

You can explore other models of care. You can change your mind. You can ask questions, even if no one around you is asking them. Your experience matters. Your baby’s experience matters. And you deserve to feel fully informed and fully supported.

If you’re curious about how to prepare for a birth that actually honors your body, your baby, and your voice then check out my course, Blooming Confidence. It’s packed with everything I wish I knew going into my first birth, plus all the knowledge I’ve gained as a doula and midwife student.

Because birth matters.
And so do you.